Blunt force trauma
By Vito Anthony
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
GLASGOW, Scotland — A group of men were gathered on a street corner in Glasgow's east end. There were six of them, according to the report in London's Daily Record.
Moments earlier, a panicked caller had alerted authorities that one of the men had a large gun in his possession. As the armed response team raced towards them in rush hour traffic, no one knew what to expect.
The police Jeep screeched to a halt near the men and four armed officers jumped from the vehicle and surrounded the suspects. The policemen yelled for the men to get their hands in the air, and then ordered the man with the weapon to lie down on the ground.
The man just gaped at them. Then a police dog barked, and he dropped to the ground.
The cops surrounded the man and began to search him but what they found wasn't exactly what they expected.
"After a while, I saw two of the officers walking away, smiling and carrying an object," said witness Gary Wilson. "I wondered why they were smiling after such a serious operation. Then I saw one had a large and distinctive black sex aid. It is easy to see why it could have been mistaken for a gun."
The "weapon" was a large black dildo.
Just moments before, the suspect had purchased the sex toy from a nearby market along with a similar purple device. He had picked the items up for his wife.
"Our guys knew right away, because of the look of the object, how this mistake could have been made," said an unnamed police officer.
Another unnamed witness said, "The look on their faces after they found out what had sparked the alarm -- some of them were grinning but others seemed to be trying not to laugh or smirk."